LIVING IN SILENCE (THE CONCLUSION)

The rest is a blur to me, as I cannot recollect how we all made it to the general hospital situated two streets from us. Thankfully, the doctor and nurses on night call had promptly attended to us; they had taken my son immediately into the emergency room, while we had waited to fill the necessary documents. But two hours later, we were still here, and I was still ignorant as to what the fate of my son was.

"Madam"… I almost jumped out of my skin at the voice of the doctor who was now standing before me. From the corner of my eye, I saw Tolu coming to join us, also eager to hear what the doctor had to say.

I don't know how, but I didn't need the doctor to voice a word, before I knew that the world beneath me had just crumbled

"Your son must have hit his head really hard, because it resulted in an internal hemorrhage..." I began to shake even as I stood there listening to the doctor ramble jargon.

"We immediately tried reducing the pressure which had built up in his head, by draining the fluid out, but we are really sorry, your son still did not make it" he concluded

I opened my mouth to scream but all that came out of it was silence. I turned to look at my husband as he grabbed the doctor's collar, and watched as the doctor tried to free himself from his captor. Then I turned to look at my younger son who all through the long wait had fallen asleep on the hospital chair, and was presently still oblivious to what was happening.

I felt strange, like I had been detached from my body and was watching this whole scene from another place entirely. The doctor had succeeded in prying himself from the hands that held him captive and was hurriedly scurrying down the hall with the two Nurses who had earlier accompanied him.

I and Tolu were left standing in the hall with nothing but silence enveloping us. After a while Tolu sat down with his head bowed, while I watched him in disgust, wondering what to do or say to him.

Turning towards the exit, I made to leave and then stopped, having taken barely two steps. Something must have possessed me, because I grabbed the chair closest to me and hit my husband's head with all the strength I had left. He collapsed from the first hit, but I didn't stop, I kept hitting him; in the head, face, everywhere and anywhere.

Just then one of the Nurses walked in and screamed for help as she started to run towards me...but I had had enough myself. I crumbled to the floor exhausted and started to weep.

*3 Month Later*

"Swallow it" the Nurse said pinning me with a harsh glare.

"I have" I replied, hiding the pills carefully underneath my tongue.

She looked at me doubtfully for a second and then left. Relieved, I spat the drug out and resumed my appraisal of the room with people being handed their drugs. They said I was crazy so they sent me to this place for mad people. Tolu had been in a coma for a week, but had eventually died, I hadn't cried – truth is, I had felt some sort of peace and joy when I heard the news.

"Ope..." I whispered. My son was now living with my parents, and I could still hear his cries ring in my head the day they came to take him from me. My mother had wept her heart out when I was sent here, she still came to visit every week, but we haven't said a word to each other for the past three months. All we did was sit and cry; well she did the crying, because for the life of me I couldn't find the tears, gosh I couldn't even hold my son anymore.

Maybe they are right, maybe I am crazy, maybe I deserve to live here and miss watching my son grow up, maybe... Despite all the maybes, I know Tolu deserved to die, I know Ola did not, for Pete’s sake he was just seven, still sweet and innocent with a long life ahead of him.

"He did not deserve to die, he did not deserve to die, he did not deserve to die" my whispered chant turned into a frantic one, as I became hysterical raising my voice in the process. Some of my colleagues turned to look at me; while some began to clap their hands and laugh at my chant…it was obviously fun for them.

I saw the Nurses advancing towards me, but it only served to make me more hysterical, getting up from my seat in a bid to run out of the room before they got to me. I pushed everyone and anyone that got in my way, still chanting loudly.

"He did not deserve to die, he did not deserve to die, he did not deserrrrrrrrr...." My words slurred off as I felt the sting of the Nurse's needle, and I saw Ola's smiling face welcoming me into sweet oblivion